madeline michelle fader, monday march 12 2007, 8:55pm

first of all, i am sorry i am completely out of the loop, and probably will not have time to read my friends page for... well, a while. but i love you all and i wish i knew how everyone was doing.

secondly, i am currently writing about the birth experience. the whole process was so amazingly indescribable, it will take me a few days to do it, and will be LONGGGGG. and i think you will read it, because it is SO unbelievable. and parts of it are pretty hilarious. i don't ever want to forget a single detail.

being a new parent is as insane as they say it is. go figure, haha. i am already doing 4000 things at once... shower and now hospital thank you cards... making post-birth appointments... taxes (yes still, good lord)... constant organizing... HEALING, my oh-so-sore body (STICHES--UGH... details to follow in the memoirs haha), which makes it all so much more difficult... oh, and all that baby stuff ;P feeding, changing, walking, napping, burping, rocking... oh, and working my way through my 82 emails :O i'm down to 64 new now lol

and remember that planning to phone/email out the news of the arrival? in four full days, no time or energy. that's how crazy it has been. we did our best, but i'll make up for it slowly as i organize :)

i cannot describe the love. i just... can't. it takes you over. love is always wonderful, but this... this is a new level. this is perfect.

so slowly, i will get all my thoughts out. and there are bajillions of pictures already on bajillions of cameras. but facebook even is currently being a bum about some of them showing up, so blah to that.

but not blah to this...

just born
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

march 13, finally out of nursery and in mom's arms
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

march 14, momma's hospital bed = change table
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

march 15, GOING HOME!! gramma jan gave her the nuk. she is SUCH a good sucker when she eats, i'm lucky she can munch a nuk occasionally. so far not required though.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

see! yum.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

first snooze in her crib
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

i think i have a few moments to do thank you notes before she wakes again...

i made myself a cup of tea and spilled it on the floor. time for today to be over.

don't ever think you've avoided pregnancy side-effects until your baby is out and you can be sure.

i kept reading about heartburn, but never got it! then month 7 came.

i didn't have any swelling and little water retention! then last weekend my ankles disappeared.

my morning sickness was predictable and quick every day, months 2 and 3 only. no long bouts of nausea! until about 2 weeks ago, when the thought of most things i might eat makes me feel blech.

i had limited pee breaks each night--usually just once, around 7am, and it wasn't a panic to get to the washroom. now i'm up every 2.5-3 hours like clockwork, and have to walk to the bathroom hunched over or i'll pee my pants lol

and HURRAH! no belly stretch marks! i am so good with hardcore moisturizers! my boobs do have the stretchy shimmer, but they grew so damn fast right at the start i didn't have a chance :| ... ... WHO WAS I KIDDING--my belly has marks around my bellybutton and a bit on the underside. which makes sense because i swear the child DOES try to make its escape through my skin. and it could be WORSE--they're not horrible. but they're there.

MORAL OF THE STORY: it will all happen. maybe last minute, but you will not escape each and every glorious side effect of the miracle of growing a human life.

my 3rd cousin was due to have a baby around my due date. i think maybe even a day or two after. she gave birth YESTERDAY. YESTERDAY!! then at dinner tonight, a woman i've met a few times at swim meets said that one of her children was born 4 weeks early. THAT WOULD BE NEXT WEEK FOR ME. sweet heaven.

i need to pack my hospital bag. THAT step in this entire baby-growing process is going to be one that freaks me out. that, and not so much putting the carseat anchored base in the car, but putting the "BABY ON BOARD" sign up. THAT i feel will be a changing point in my life.

ohhh hyperventilating a bit. time for bed. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

all revealed in the natural course of time

I SAW IT MOVE! i saw it! woke up as usual, babe is waking up too, shifting and poking. although still mediocre-sized to the outside world, my 7-inch uterine inhabitant and its environment are solid enough now that i was SURE i would have to see some sign of alive-ness soon. especially when lying down, so things are spread as thin as they can spread :|

i had to keep blinking to be sure my waking-up eyes weren't making up movements, but OH MY GOD. my tummy moved. first it just poked, then it poked again a little more to the left, and then it SHIFTED, and my belly looked like a stress ball being squeezed or a moving bean bag chair (mini-sized of course).

MY STOMACH MOVED!! it was shifting itself, sitting to my lower left side. i would be a good candidate for the 'alien' movies where things pop out of peoples' middles.

i saw it! moving! of course i 'oh my god'-ed and 'wholly crap!'-ed out loud; i think the cat might have thought something wrong. but she was entertained enough on her own this morning to be out of my necessary viewing field.


it moves so much these days that i anticipate maybe seeing the pokes and prods in a standing up position in the next few weeks, maybe :| as long as my OWN insulation remains limited and doesn't block the view. hum.

in related news, i am in love. with COCOA BUTTER. ohhhh it is heaven. so soft and moisturizing and IT SMELLS LIKE CHOCOLATE. i want to bathe in it. mmm cocoa butterrrr. go buy it. you'll love it, even if you don't have stretch marks to combat.

off to the barn!

with the good ones on my shoulder, i drove the other ones away

i met devin this eve to pick up money (yay!) but realized how much i do miss his energy and sweetness :) him, myself and RICH **HEY YOU!! RIIIIIIICH!** have to still make a wayne's world date.

after quick visit with devin, i went to mountain, and my lovely, lovely mountain caf moms greated me with amazing smiles and hugs. god i love and miss them. helen's eyes lit up and she rubbed my belly and was just outstandingly loving. she held my hand then and pulled me over to heather ("she's going to be a mommy!") and heather cooed and cooed and also went straight for the bump, and said my most favourite, "you just look wonderful!" these are good people. these are the best people. helen said i must bring babe by when it's born, which i fully intend on doing. after all, we took tiff with abby for her first timmy's run, so this little one needs their first mountain caf run.

JEN--hope date went well, if the streets of toronto ever let him get there!

"To understand your parents' love, you must raise children yourself."

my favourite baby info on sex while pregnant:

"some are rocked to sleep by the rhythmic motion and the uterine contractions that follow orgasm. others, stimulated by the activity, may become more lively. both responses are normal; neither indicates that the fetus is aware of what's going on, or that he or she has been harmed in any way."

i still believe sex and the city: "won't it... poke the baby?" "didn't you know? that's where dimples come from!"

today i walked to the hospital. the hill up eramosa almost killed me, but i persevered.